With nowhere to go and no money I stayed in the gardens at night and just walked around in a panic during the day. Starving, cold and thirsty I couldn’t even bring myself to beg as I was just too proud. When Monday arrived I got my keys to the house and lied to the lady by telling her I wasn’t going to live there just decorate. Ha, if only she knew, or if only I had the balls to tell her my problems.

Still, in only ripped trainers, jeans, T-Shirt and a light hoodie top I was in my house: No gas, No electric, No curtains, and no carpet. When I needed the toilet I ripped wallpaper off the wall. I was so low and so hungry, I can honestly say if didn’t have my son in my thoughts I wouldn’t be here now. Sleeping on floorboards, cold and hungry remembering that not even a year before I had everything made me so depressed, I cannot put into words.

It was the fifth day when my neighbour noticed I was there. To her amazement I told her I was staying here. Before I knew it I had a mattress, a quilt and a bit food. I was at the lowest I had been and still didn’t want her help as I was too proud.

I walked to the council and got no help, they didn’t give a damn, all they did was let me use the phone to get my electric and gas on. On my way back I noticed a sign that I feel has changed my life forever: ”Fresh Start”.

All I saw was that they did donations. The next morning I went back at 10:00 am, I went to walk in and hesitated, I did this till about lunchtime, then I saw a friendly looking person and all I asked was if they did clothing donations. He introduced himself as Stuart, Invited me in and asked if I was ok! He knew something was wrong I could see that and he was so open and friendly that before I knew it I’d made the first step in getting help.

He offered me coffee - It was so warm you wouldn’t believe. He asked how he could help, but did it in a way that I didn’t feel I was asking for help. He never judged me once and took in my every word. Before I knew it, I was feeling good about myself again for the first time in ages. He explained it’s not a drop in center, but within minutes he was on the phone sorting my life out for me! Not even knowing me ten minutes and he is doing this - it was a lot to take on, I was overwhelmed!

He asked me what I needed and he did what he said and helped. Within 20 minutes I had clean clothes, towels, soap, razor and clean underwear. He didn’t stop there he asked me about my finances and living conditions and I wasn’t embarrassed to tell him as it was good to have someone to talk to. Again within minutes I had numbers to ring and people to meet that day, he didn’t have to but he gave me a lift home with my things and he said he would run me to the job center. I was so overwhelmed and in shock you could say. Then he shocked me again: He took off his jacket and gave it to me!

Stuart gave me so much advice on the car ride it was unbelievable, but he didn’t belittle me once, he told me about his past experiences, then asked me a question that changed my day totally… ”When did you last eat hot food?... I couldn’t answer. He pulled over and got me a Greggs sausage Roll and a drink. At that point I wanted to cry, I was so grateful it was the best gift ever. Before getting out the car he insisted I do as he said and contact the job center and the Salvation Army that very day. I listened.

After speaking with the job center I got a crisis loan, then headed to the Salvation Army where they gave me a project worker and more clean clothes, that night I arrived home to find my neighbour had left me a TV and a gas bbq set. With being in half an hour I’d had a shower put on my clean clothes, made up the mattress, and I was eating food in the warmth - but all I could think about was how good the sausage roll was and how nice and understanding Stuart was. To what may have been routine to him, I don’t know, changed, and could have probably saved my life.

That night I actually felt that there may be light at the end of the tunnel and that I may be able to see and have my son round and I felt like this was due to Stuart and Fresh Start and him buying me a 59p sausage roll - Amazing! I have to admit I still felt proud and didn’t want to accept all this help. I just thought they’ve done their bit and I’ll probably never hear from them again.

The next morning I was amazed, I woke up to my phone ringing, it was Stuart checking I was ok and if I did what he advised, I said yes and he said he will speak and see me soon. At that point I well and truly broke down. This man, who I didn’t know from Adam, was checking I was ok, I was sobbing my heart out with the joy that he cared and that there was really light at the end of the tunnel.

About 10 am that day I got a call from Michael McGran from the Salvation Army he said he wanted to meet up with me and within the hour he was here. He, Like Stuart never ever judged me once and assured me that Fresh Start and the Salvation Army were there to help me. Michael explained that to gain help I needed his referral and their guidance. He asked me what I needed and was on the phone before I’d even finished telling him! He told me all about Fresh Start and what they did, and to be honest I cant even say I heard a thing I was in a daze, that put me in a trance. I couldn’t believe these people wanted to help as much as they did.

It was Friday and Michael had arranged all these appointments for me for the next week, He made sure I was ok and he said he would call on Monday. That day I lay on my bed thinking, and I realized what had happened earlier, I was getting all this help and people did care, which in turn made me care about myself again. The next day I was feeling good and to make things better my son came round. We spent the day stripping walls and he loved it, the fact he had a bedroom and a house to come to see me made him happy, all be it his room was bare with just a bed, but he was happy.

As promised Monday morning, 9:00 am Michael called just to see if I was ok and tell me to get to Fresh Start on Tuesday to meet Ian. I didn’t know what to expect but I just said ok. Monday afternoon Bethany came to my house, with what I thought was just a chair! How wrong, they arrived with a 2-seater sofa, wardrobe, brand new microwave, towels and two Starter Packs.

The Starter Packs were amazing! Fresh Start had made these packs. The first one was cleaning products (and branded products may I say); the next was all toiletries. To say these packs were useful was a huge understatement - they were just what I needed. At this point I thought, well that’s it I cant be helped anymore I’ve got the bare basics, but I didn’t feel down I felt positive and to make it better Stuart called again he’d put another coat aside for me and again asked if I was ok and gave me that re-assurance that things will be ok.
This is a man that cares I could see that he wasn’t just doing his job he was being the job. Without sounding weird all I wanted to do was hug this man and tell him thank you, you saved me! That Night I sobbed all night till I slept, not because I was sad but because Stuart, Fresh Start, Michael and my son had made me feel better about myself.

Tuesday morning and I’m heading up to meet Ian, this guy at Fresh Start, and not knowing what to expect. I just thought I was going to chat about getting my house painted. I was a bit scared as I thought is he going to judge me, or knock me down? I don’t know - I just felt anxious I guess. No need, Oh My God, No need. I nervously rang the buzzer and said I was here to meet Ian. I waited and saw this tall man bouncing towards me with the biggest smile and friendliest face. He gave out his hand and introduced himself as Ian, he didn’t even have to do that to make me welcome, he just had a charm that instantly relaxed me. He asked me to his office and noticed I was limping, I’d had these ripped trainers on for days and my feet were cut up and bleeding, I had told Ian just in conversation and he got up and said he would be back in a second, got to admit I thought “Oh here we go!” He came back with 3 pairs of shoes for me. How I held back the tears I don’t know but at that point a pair of second hand shoes from this ultra friendly man, made me feel like I’d just been cured of an illness.

Ian asked how I was and if I minded telling him about my situation. Just like Stuart he took in every word I said, don’t know how he did it but he made me want to talk to him. Ian told me about his past and, oh boy, he’d been through the mill, this is a man that understands me. I looked up to him and had instant respect for him. He told me all about Fresh Start and this time I listened as I was relaxed. Ian told me about the Hit Squad and that they can’t paint up to 2 rooms in my house. I mentioned my boy’s room he said he would give me the paint so I could do that myself. That was a huge help as it meant I could get my boy’s room sorted so he could stay with me.

During my meeting with Ian he made me so relaxed I’d forgotten my situation, he’d made me feel good about myself in 30 minutes: I wasn’t judged once, I didn’t feel ashamed, I could of chatted all day.

So we arranged for Fresh Start to come round on Tuesday to paint, which gave me a week to get my boy’s room done. At this point I was so happy and positive about everything. Ian clapped his hands and said “Right Jack, that’s fine”. I thought that was me all sorted - time to go home. I was over the moon with our chat and the fact my home was going to be painted, again to say I was feeling positive is an understatement. Ian took a trolley and headed to the paint, I thought ‘you can carry paint I only need two tins’, but he put the paint and trolley in the middle of this welcoming room full of household items.

Then it began. I honestly can’t remember much but I do know I felt dizzy! Ian was running around singing, and dancing, chatting, asking me what I needed, and before I knew it the trolley and table was full of brand new and reconditioned household goods, I remember him saying ‘stop being so proud’, ‘you need these things take them’, ‘we’re all here to help you and your son’. If I was to say I was the happiest man in the world at this moment, I wouldn’t be doing justice to how I felt! I cant put this feeling into words, but oh my god it was good.

At that point it wasn’t just Stuart and Ian, it was Fresh Start as a whole that had given me a new lease of life, Oh my god! Yeah they had given me a FRESH START! We loaded the van, I came home, and once unloaded Ian looked round, saw what work I had done, and said I’d done well - again making me feel good. He saw I had no fridge or washing machine and said it may take a few days but he can organize one for me This group had given me so much and still wanted to give more! I wanted to shout stop!! But Ian was so admirable and genuine, I didn’t feel cheeky or rude in accepting his offer.

Ian’s gone now - looking at all this stuff is just too much. I put it all away, and put out the lamps and kitchen appliances, put up the curtains, put bedding on my bed then cried my eyes out. After meeting Stuart I thought I’d never be happier but after all today it’s just to much for words. Fresh start you saved me!

Ian kept in touch to make sure I was ok and still good for Tuesday. When the hit squad arrived Ian introduced the two chaps to me, they like everyone else I had met there were friendly and certainly didn’t judge me, again I was relaxed. We planned what we were doing and we worked together. It was amazing, I felt like these people were my mates helping me paint my house and oh boy, were they good painters. I learnt a few tips and that day went so quick. They were so clean and efficient. I honestly thought I’d known them years. Just cleaning up and a friendly face pulled up, it was Stuart with two lamps for me, he looked round and like me he was amazed how good it all looked compared to two weeks ago. I didn’t thank Stuart in the way I wanted but I could tell he could see how grateful I was, but I just wanted to tell him there and then!

So I’ve got a brand new fridge freezer, brand new washing machine (which arrived in two days btw) and my house painted. Once everyone left I just walked around and for the first time in a month of being here I was a home for me, and my boy. It was a fresh start.

Ian rang the next day and I couldn’t say thank you enough, but he just took it as the norm! What I hope Fresh Start and all its donators realize, is that a sausage roll or a pair of second hand trainers or the most of all a friendly face can do is save lives and families and Fresh Start saved me. I can honestly say that if you hadn’t helped me, through Stuart and his team, my son would now be without a daddy.

Would you like a pleasant day out whilst raising money for a good cause?  If so, why don’t you sign up for our sponsored walk on the 24th of June 2011?

Setting out from Dean Parish Church at 10.00am the route is a leisurely 8 miles following the Water of Leith to Colinton Dell, where we go on to the Union Canal towpath and follow that to Fountainbridge Basin for lunch.

There is no £5 registration fee, however we do ask that all walkers raise a minimum of £25 through sponsorship.

To register for the walk or find out how to support the staff team read on....

Register for the walk

Everyone is welcome and we would like to encourage as many people as possible to join in, whether you are an individual or a part of a team it is an excellent day out. 

There are two ways to register:
• Call the office on 476 7741 for registration form (s).
• Or email reception@freshstartweb.org.uk with your name, email and address.

Please note, if you are part of a team we require details of every walker.

Raising money

Fresh Start will send a sponsor form to all walkers.  However, if you would prefer to collect sponsorship money online you can do this too.  Go to https://freshstart.workwithus.org/ and click on the link to create a sponsorship page.   If you would like advice on how to do this please contact Linda or Tom at the office.

Sponsor the staff team

If you are not able to take part please use the form to sponsor the staff team, all money raised goes towards helping people who have been homeless resettle into the community.  You can do this using the enclosed form or go to the fundraising pages on our website.

Well the sending of Christmas cards anyway! As an alternative, they have decided to dedicate their Christmas card budget to help Fresh Start.

Rettie & Co have taken the view that charity starts at home, a place very close to their hearts. By asking all their clients and staff to donate such things as bedding, cutlery, plates, electrical goods, cleaning products, sheets, mugs – things that people usually hoard at home, until they move and instead of throwing them in the rubbish bin, they are being used for a worthy and relevant cause – the Fresh Start ‘Starter Packs’.

Keith Robertson, Managing Director of Fresh Start said "It is fantastic that Rettie & Co have taken this opportunity to support Fresh Start and demonstrate what Christmas is really about. We are delighted with the support that their staff and customers have shown. The goods that they donated are not luxuries but essentials for example bedding to stay warm at night or a kettle to make a hot drink. Without their support our clients would go without as they don’t have the budget to buy these goods that so many of us take for granted. Given the bad weather we have had our service is needed more than ever as people are spending all they have, just on staying warm."

Tony Perriam, Director at Rettie & Co said ‘Teaming up with Fresh Start was a great fit for our business. We have been able to spread the word via our staff and clients about their fantastic work, giving disadvantaged people across Lothian the new beginning that they need to get settled in their new homes. We have used our vehicle fleet to collect and deliver donations and hope that our efforts will help some people to be able to do simple tasks that we take for granted’.

We recently received a large donation of blankets that were six foot in length but only three foot wide, which meant that they were not suitable to go into the Bedding Packs we produce. At the same time the blankets were too good just to be passed on to the Rag Trade for recycling.

At Fresh Start we never like to see anything going to waste if it can be re-used. But the question remained ... What were we going to do with these blankets?

So far Gary, John and Jerry have raised almost £400.

In partnership with RePaint Scotland and the local authorities this exciting new opportunity will further enhance Fresh Start’s green credentials, and help reduce the costs of the Hit Squads service as we will receive paint via the scheme,